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Couples Understanding One Another With Love and Understanding

Above all have Mercy upon one another. We each have our own struggles. We choose someone having an expectation without communicating and cause heartache rather than Compassion and Helpmates.



1. Focus on the question. Answer the question. Be careful with your words as they can pierce a heart and one might not recover.

2. Do not skip pages. Take one page per day. Please take this seriously.

3. Find a space where you can spend a few moments each day to write on the topic. Remember to answer with a caring, merciful heart.

4. Have a place that only you and your partner can read each other’s words. This is intended to be private between you and your partner.

5. Do not skip a day. Your relationship needs your time. Take a few moments out of your day to show you care.

6. Handle this little book with care and Love and exchange you books daily.

This is intended to bring you clarity, insight, understanding, communication and above all Love.

Ex: What does spending quality time mean to you? It means that we are doing something together and that together and that we are giving our full attention to the other person.

Quality Conversation

Sharing your experiences, thoughts, feelings and desires in a friendly, uninterrupted context.

Day 01: Share an experience you had with your spouse…..

Words of affirmation focus on what we are saying, whereas quality conversation focuses on what we are hearing.

Learning to listen may be as difficult as learning a foreign language, but learn we want to communicate love.

DAY 02: How do you communicate Love?

DAY 03: What in your relationship detracts you from spending quality time?

Day 04: List Five activities that you would enjoy doing with your significant other.

DAY 05: Make plans to do one of them each week for the next five weeks.

DAY 06: What is your idea of a weekend getaway?

DAY 07: Share in what your day looks like today…

DAY 08: To Invest in loving your significant other is to invest in blue chip stocks.

DAY 09: How do you invest your love?

You are investing in your relationship and filling your partners emotional love tank, and with a full love tank, he or she will likely reciprocate emotional love to you in a language you will understand.

When both partners emotional needs are met your marriage will take on a whole new dimension.

There is an intangible gift that sometimes speaks more loudly than a gift that can be held in one’s hand………It is the gift of self or the gift of presence.

DAY 10: Are you present for one another?

DAY 11: What makes you uncomfortable?

DAY 12: Twelve days of gifts…What would you like to receive?

DAY 13: How does your spouse respond when you try to show affection?

We needed love before we “fell in love” and we will need it as long as we live.

DAY 14: Thoughts/ Ideas/ What would you like to share?

The need to feel loved by one’s partner is at the heart of marital desires.

Whatever the quality of your relationship now. It can always be better.

DAY 15: Write down how you fell in love?

We have been led to believe that if we are really in love, it will last forever.

DAY 16: Can you pinpoint a time in your relationship when reality set in?

DAY 17: How did this affect your relationship for better or worse?

DAY 18: Verbal compliments or words of appreciation are powerful communicators of love.

They are best expressed in simple straight forward statements of affirmation such as:

What would you like to hear your partner say?

The object of love is not getting something you want but doing something for the well-being of the one you love.

Encouragement requires empathy and seeing the world from your partners perspective.

DAY 19: How do you encourage your partner?

A request creates the possibility of love where as a demand suffocates the possibility

DAY 20: What would you most like to hear your partner say to you?

DAY 21: What in your marriage detracts from spending quality time?

DAY 22: “No one likes to be forced to do anything. Love is always freely given. Request -Give direction to love, but demands stop the flow of love.”

How do you request love?

DAY 23: Many acts of service will involve household chores, but not all.

What are some non-chores ways of serving your mate?

DAY 24: Physical touch can make or break a relationship. It can communicate hate or love.

Whatever there is of me resides in my body. To touch my body is to touch me. To withdraw from my body is to distance yourself from me emotionally.

DAY 25: Do you show your spouse love or hate?

DAY 26: List 1-5 1 being most important

5 being least important

Words of affirmation

Quality time

Receiving gifts

Acts of service

Physical touch

DAY 27: Your picture of a perfect mate should give you some idea of your primary love language.

DAY 28: What do you most desire from your spouse?

DAY 29: What makes you feel loved above all else?

DAY 30: does your partner do or fail to do that hurts you most deeply?

The opposite of what hurts you most is probably your love language

DAY 31: What have you most often requested often of your spouse?

The thing you have most often requested is likely the thing that would make you feel most loved.

DAY 32: In what way do you regularly express love to your spouse?

Your method of expressing love may be an indication that would also make you feel loved.

DAY 33: What does your partner do to make you feel more significant?

DAY 34: How about what you do for them?

DAY 35: Is it possible to love a partner who has become your enemy?

DAY 36: Ask how you can be a better spouse. Write down how you think you can be a better partner.

DAY 37: How does your partner express love to others?

DAY 38: What does your partner complain about most often?

DAY 39: What does your spouse request most often?

DAY 40: Thoughts? “You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending” C.S. Lewis

DAY 41: Thoughts?“ As long as one person knows entirely and loves you still. It’s the best place in the world. - unknown

DAY 42: Plan a Trip

1. What is your criteria for a destination?

2. What activities would you like to do?

3. Do you want to meet with friends or family?

4. Do you want to have a schedule or enjoy the moment and see where it takes you?

DAY 43: Write two things that deeply touch your partner?

DAY 44: Think back to when you first fell in love. Try to reinvigorate those romantic feelings.

How would you do that?

DAY 45: Write a few qualities you love about your partner.

DAY 46: Generously write down and describe why this is so important to you

When your partner feels that you are deeply grateful and immensely moved both lead to greater bonding and intimacy.

DAY 47: Reflect on a moment and share.

Be grateful for your life

Every detail of it

And your face will come

To shine like a sun

And everyone who sees it

Will be made glad and peaceful

Persist in gratitude

And you will slowly become

One with the sun of love

And love will shine through you

All healing Joy


This was intended to be used as a tool to help you both understand each other better

Neither one is right or wrong. This is all feedback.

If nothing else this is an experience to bring you closer or show the separation and distance you have each created. Remember this is a partnership and understanding one another is not always easy. Communication is key. Keep Sharing and learning and being patient with one another and everything will all work out.

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